Secretly
by NikoleDahl0
Summary: Following the development of Patsy and Delia's relationship.


21 times.

Patsy had seen the beautiful brunette nurse with the perfect smile and ringing laugh 21 times. Patsy could remember the first sight vividly. Usually calm, composed and confident, she suddenly became very aware of herself. Her limbs seemed too long and she hadn't any idea what to do with them. She knew she was in the way of the busy flow of the hospital as she floundered under Delia's gaze despite it lasting only a moment. For the rest of the day Patsy was worrying about her appearance more so than she ever had. She still felt this way each time Delia looked at her. Her heart would skip and she felt that she was completely helpless and stumbling about. Then she felt overwhelming comfort. She had never trusted someone to love her so completely as she did Delia.

22 times.

"Nurse Mount? I want you to work with Nurse Busby today to organize all the new supplies." The head nurse walked into the break room followed by the nurse Patsy had thought of so often but hadn't the nerve to speak, then disappeared out of the room as quickly as she had arrived leaving the two in a filled silence.

"Hello," Patsy quipped nervously, feeling the color rise in her cheeks, "Patsy." she said as she held out her hand. She knew she was behaving just like the other nurses did in front of the new, young, unmarried doctor on the third floor and wondered how much of her behavior Delia was noticing. Delia took her hand and smiled, "Delia". Patsy felt herself being studied by the woman in front of her and grew redder.

Without realizing it, the two hadn't broken hold of each other's hands and laughed as the prolonged introduction came to end upon the sudden awareness of their contact. The day went by quickly and Patsy was sad to know that the two would probably never work together again. They hadn't spoken much all day except to say "that pile there," or "have you seen the syringes?," but Patsy had loved it and thought that she could spend all day, every day with Delia sorting medical supplies. She had begun noticing little things Delia would do while concentrating and knew that she should try and stop herself from feeling this way about her. Experience said that feeling this way about any girl would lead to further isolation. Perhaps it was for the best that she wouldn't be given the opportunity to spend more time with the brunette woman with the stellar smile.

"Well! Looks like that's it!" Delia jumped up and exclaimed after she had placed the last bit of supplies in their designated place and glanced at her watch. "Oh good! My favorite cafe is still open. Would you like to come with?"

"You want me to go to coffee with you?" Patsy asked, almost shocked that she would have the opportunity to spend more time with Delia. She was thrilled, but almost said no because she knew it would only lead to conversation, and then Patsy would want her even more.  
"Of course, Patsy! You're much too quiet at work!", and with that she bounced outside the door without waiting for an answer, into the hallway and out onto the street with Patsy following like a balloon tied around Delia's wrist. She was elated, and she floated.

Delia smiled sheepishly at Patsy as she held open the door and pointed to the table nearest one of the walls. Patsy, still shy and nervous, listened more than she talked. She learned that after having grown up in Wales, coming to London for work was the first time Delia had left home. The woman in front of her grew ever more endearing as she described her home, her family and her dreams to see more of the world one day.

Delia paused and asked, "Where is the most exotic place YOU've been?"  
Patsy sighed, not wanting to scare off Delia already with the depressing heaviness of her past and flatly said, "Singapore." She watched Delia's eyes flash with excitement and curiosity.  
"Tell me about it?" Delia leaned forward on the table and rested her head on her hand, looking at Patsy like she held some sort of wonderful secret.

In that moment Patsy felt the pain of what Singapore brought to her life, and yet, looking back at the beautiful eyes peering across the table, could remember the good times before the bad with more clarity than she ever had. She smiled, because she was happy, and yet she felt her eyes welling with tears because the happiness was so bittersweet.  
"Oh," Dela whispered softly, grabbing Patsy's hand gently, "I am so sorry if I touched on something tender unknowingly."

Patsy looked down at their hands intertwined and knew very well that it was most probably a gesture of kindness and friendship, but she couldn't help her heart from beating more quickly than it should in response to a friendly touch. She cursed herself for acting like such a blubbering fool. She usually was like steel when it came to her past, but Delia made her think of good things and she still didn't know how to cope with remembering the good.

Patsy placed her free hand on Delia's for a brief moment, looked up smiling and said, "Don't be sorry. One day I will tell you. For now, tell me why you started nursing - and why male surgical of all things!?"

And Delia was off again. Patsy was listening so intently, she almost didn't notice that Delia's hand hadn't left hers.


End file.
